It is virtually impossible to get cherry Slurpee stains out of anything.
There’s been a distinct lack of spiders in my house lately. I should be happy about this, but instead I’m just paranoid that they’re all congregating somewhere, plotting my demise.
Also, holy moth population boom, Colorado.
“This is one of those rare days when you might be better off telling a story or writing a poem than trying to be rational.” —It’s always nice when your daily horoscope gives you a free pass to be a loon.
“(405): Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn’t serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren’t heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.” —texts from last night