And yeah, you still have to tilt your head and squint so that it doesn’t look quite so ridiculous. I’m rather partial to the Salma, myself.
If removing the wrapper from a prepackaged cookie requires me to break the cookie to get it off then that is a really fucking stupid system. Everyone knows that broken cookies don’t taste as good.
Really? I thought broken cookies just didn’t have any calories because they don’t count.
It’s a little frustrating. Like, I have enough social skills to recognize when I’m being awkward, but not enough to know how to stop being awkward, so instead I’m just confused and irrelevant. It’s very Grandpa Simpson-esque. Also uncomfortable.
Pew! Pew! Pew!-in my way along the Long Island Expressway
If this is what I think it is…
I totally had the Stegosaurus with the side guns when I was a kid.
Okay, my brother had it. But I played with it more.
The amount of crap I need to get done before Monday is inversely proportionate to how motivated I am to do it.
Me: “Ok, we’ve pushed the site live.”
Client: “Why isn’t the site #1 on Google yet?”
Me: “We just pushed it live five minutes ago.”
Client: “Optimize the fireball.”
Me: “I’m sorry? Do you mean the firewall?”
Client: “I need more hits NOW, so I need you to optimize the fireball. I know what I’m talking about!”
Me: “We’ll get right on it.”
I am going to start telling people at work to optimize the fireball. Clearly we are going about this SEO business the wrong way.
Dear Dove Chocolates,
If we could keep this semi-inspirational bullshit out of my chocolate that would be AWESOME. Because no, I don’t think I feel much like walking with a light step and a lighter heart today. THANK YOU.
They’re in the same vein as the Always pad wrapper things that say “Have a happy period”. I got one once that said “Remind yourself that it’s okay not to be perfect.” True story. My chocolate patronized me.
Today is Friday.
My favorite morning tea is back in stock at Target and I have three boxes.
I get to listen to music on my speakers instead of headphones.
And today is Friday.